The Gamer

February 26, 2008 at 3:55 pm (Musings)

This is Pat Kilchermann’s rendition of Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler”. If you find it interesting or clever, let Pat know at pkilchermann@gmail.com

The ‘Gambler’ (The Gamer)

On a warm summer’s eve on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with a Gamer, we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a playin, his gameboy Pok-e-mon Red,
Til batteries ran dead, and he began to speak.

He said ‘son I’ve made my life, out of playing FPSers,
TBS, RTS’s, and MMORPGs.
So if you don’t mind me sayin’, I can see you are laggin,
and for a hit off your Redbull, I’ll give you some advice.

So I handed him my Redbull, and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a slice of pizza, and asked me what was on it.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression,
said ‘If you’re going to play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it

right.’

‘You got to know when to shoot ‘em, know when to loot ‘em,
know when to crouch down, and know when to prone.
You never check your score, when you’re sittin in an ambush,
There’ll be time enough to check ‘em, when the fraggin’s done.

Now every gamer knows, that the secret to surving,
Is knowing when to reload, and knowing when to mele.
Cause every kit’s a killer, and every kit’s a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die after a spree.

And when he finish speakin, he turned back to his gameboy,
popped in some new batteries, and stepped back into Joto.
And somewhere in the darkness, the Gamer got carpal tunnel,
But in his final words I found a frag that I could keep.

‘You got to know when to shoot ‘em, know when to loot ‘em,
know when to crouch down, and know when to prone.
You never check your score, when you’re sittin in an ambush,
There’ll be time enough to check ‘em, when the fraggin’s done.

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